No one likes a complainer and even less of us want to admit that we sometimes wear that hat. It’s human nature to complain and like most behaviors, it’s taught to us at a young age.
We continue to complain as adults for a number of reasons and most times don’t even realize we are doing it because it’s become habitual. It can be used as a social tool to start a conversation or relate to another person. Complaining can also help someone free themselves of responsibility - “I’m not hitting my sales goals because people want everything for free.” In cases like this, complaining may even lead the person to not even trying to hit their goals, procrastinating and doing nothing.
The impact of complaining can be more damaging than we think. When the cycle of this behavior becomes pervasive, a person can struggle to find their way out and end up submitting to being a victim of their circumstances. Not only can it trap us in negativity, it also leads to anxiety and depression.
We aren’t bad people because we complain and in some cases it may even end up serving us, but without being mindful it can lead us to some dark places. So how can we retrain our brains to work for us, instead of against us when it comes to complaining?
Be aware. Try tracking your complaints for a day or even a week. Don’t do anything else but simple make the observation.
Consider what triggers your complaints. Is it a specific tasks, person or environment, etc..?
Ask yourself how complaining is helping, if at all, to improving your situation.
Consider alternative ways to get what you want that are less harmful to you and those around you and try them out.
Practice gratitude everyday and often. The simple act of being thankful is incredible powerful.
At the end of the day our circumstances are our choices. It may not always seem that way but by taking a step back and looking at a situation from a different perspective you may be pleasantly surprised. Give it a try, what do you have to lose?
